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Valentine’s Day 2022 jokes to make them laugh
Laughter and love go hand-in-hand, so make humour your Valentine’s Day surprise.
There is absolutely no reason why Valentine’s Day has be taken so seriously. In fact, Valentine’s Day will probably be more enjoyable if you keep the pressure off and have a little fun with it. To get you in the mood (…to laugh) here are some cheesy, silly jokes and ideas for how to make your Valentine giggle.
The best (and corniest) jokes for Valentine’s Day
So here they are: the best Valentine’s Day jokes that have tickled our funny bones and warmed our hearts. Awww.
1. What did one boat say to the other?
“Are you up for a little row-mance?”
2. Roses are red, violets are blue
That’s what they say, but it just isn’t true!
Roses are red and apples are too
But violets are violet, violets aren’t blue!
An orange is orange, but Greenland’s not green
And pinkies aren’t pink, what does it mean?
To say something’s blue when it isn’t, defiles it
But oh, what the hell, it’s hard to rhyme violet!
3. Hard Grader
My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the Valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription: “BE MINE.” The following day, I received in return a Valentine from the teacher.
It read: “Thank you, but it’s still BE MINE-US.
4. A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?'” “But why?” asks the man.
“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man said.
5. What is a vampire’s sweetheart called?
His ghoul-friend.
5. A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?” And the lady said, “Pardon?”
6. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasn’t fancy.
The reception, however, was excellent.
7. What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
“You’re fun to hang around with.”
8. What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?
It made him wed his plants!
9. What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?
“Stick with me and you’ll go places!”
10. What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
“A hug and a quiche!”
11. Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
“It was Valenswine’s Day!”
12. What do you call a very small valentine?
“A valentiny!”
13. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
“I love you a tonne!”
14. Do you think skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental.
Dos and Don’ts for Valentine’s Day jokes
Your Valentine’s Day jokes should inspire a chuckle not a frown. Here are some little tips on how to nail humour on Valentine’s Day…
Do:
Keep it light. The trick to making your loved one laugh (even at themselves) is to joke about stuff that’s not so important.
Include yourself in the joke. Making fun of Valentines Day, or your loved one, or anything else is much funnier if you can laugh at yourself, too.
Puns are the way to go. Rarely offensive and so cheesy that you just have to laugh, puns are a safe option when cracking a joke on Valentine’s Day.
Things to avoid:
Stay away from jokes around stereotypes. Valentine’s Day is not the time to poke fun at anyone else’s expense.
Don’t on a sore spot. We all know that the ones we love can hurt us the most. They understand which buttons to press to get a particular reaction. Use this knowledge responsibly.
Some Valentine’s gift suggestions
Fitness & Health Tracker
Amazon
Womanizer X Lovehoney Clitoral Stimulator
Lovehoney
Roots Studio Chalk Bag
prAna
Bow Top Handle Bag
Charles & Keith
Holbrook Sunglasses
Befitting
Foldable Brushless RC Drone
Geekbuying
Throw Throw Burrito
Amazon
Liaison Lace Babydoll Set
Lovehoney
Electric Coffee Grinder
Bodum
Manteau de ski alpin 180
Decathlon
Metro Neomatik Men's Watch
Watchshopping
Parisienne Bra and Thong Set
Lovehoney
APOLTER Memory Foam Slippers
Amazon
Acrylic Watch Hat Toque
Mark's
Pom Beanie
Altitude-Sports
Calvin Klein Boxers Set
Simons
Hot Stuff Bomb
Boomf
Massage Gun
Amazon
Himalayan Salt Lamp
Amazon
Vaha Straight Pant
prAna
Illamasqua Amplifier Lip Duo
Skincare RX
Elegant Blush Bouquet
1800 Flowers Canada
Heritage Double Sided Sherpa Blanket
Mark's
Arise Collective Udine
SmartBuyGlasses
Anti Aging LED Facial Brush
Vanity Planet
Custom Craft Cocktail Kit
Etsy
Natalia Wrap Coat
Ever New
Utopia Shadow Palette
NYX Canada
Gaiam Reversible Yoga Mat
Sport Chek
UGG Scuffette Slippers
DSW
Massage Gun
Amazon
Explore Fusebox Backpack
Sail
Keradda
Aldo
Cambridge Teapot with Infuser
Grosche International Inc.
Tea Bombs
Kiki Bakeshop
Abstract Leaf Print Scarf
Reitmans
Radiance Renewal Mask
Paula's Choice
Balloon Sleeve French Terry Crew
Tentree
Best retailers for Valentine’s Day gifts
Top sites to buy from this Valentine's Day
Valentine’s Day Deals
Deal
Up to 50% off select items
Enjoy up to 50% off appliances, electronics, sports, clothing, beauty and more at Walmart's Deals of the Week. Hurry while stocks last. T&Cs apply.
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Enjoy up to 80% discount on a large selection of products from top brands at Amazon. Valid for a limited time only. T&Cs apply.
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Enjoy up to 50% off tops, shorts, sandals, shirts, hoodies, and more. T&Cs apply.
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Enjoy up to 40% discount on books on sale from professional book sellers at AbeBooks. Valid while stocks last. T&Cs, exclusions apply.
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Get 20% off your order when you sign up to Teleflora's mailing list. New subscribers only. T&Cs apply.
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Sign up for emails to Brook & York and get 10% off your first order. T&Cs apply.
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Save up to 35% on select roses, fresh carnations and more at Flora2000. T&Cs apply.
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Grab huge savings of up to 80% from limited time special offers at Macy's sale section. T&Cs, exclusions apply.
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10% off your first purchase
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Deal
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Shop the sale section at Showpo and save up to 50% on dresses, shoes, accessories and more. T&Cs apply.
Code
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Take advantage of huge saving at Little Passports by using the code. Hurry, code valid for a limited time only. T&Cs apply.
Deal
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Enjoy savings on boots, sandals, backpacks, wallets and more at ECCO. T&Cs apply.
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Take up to 50% off great quality glasses from EyeBuyDirect. T&Cs apply.
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Save up to 70% on new microfleece tops, pants, dresses and more. While stocks last. T&Cs apply.
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Score up to 83% off earings, necklaces, bracelets and more. T&Cs apply.
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Take an extra 25% off kids' bodysuits, jeans, dresses and more. While stocks last. T&Cs apply.
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Valid on selected items at inkbox Tattoos. While stocks last. T&Cs apply.
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Score up to 70% off heels, boots, sneakers and more at GLOBOShoes.com. T&Cs apply.
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Enjoy FREE shipping when you shop online at Walmart. T&Cs apply.
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Valid with any $25 merchandise order. T&Cs apply.
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Including clothing, shoes, jewelry, watches, bags & many more. Hurry while stocks last at Light in the Box. T&Cs apply.
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15% off flowers sitewide
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Enjoy more savings at Teleflora. T&Cs apply
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Popular Gifts & Flowers coupon codes
| Last checked | Code description | Code |
|---|---|---|
| 25 Oct 2021 | 10% off your first purchase | BIG**** |
| 9 Oct 2021 | 15% off site-wide | BR1**** |
| 4 May 2021 | $40 off any annual subscription | EXP**** |
| 14 Jun 2022 | FREE Shani Darden Retinol Reform with $25 spend | SHA**** |
| 14 Jun 2022 | FREE Briogeo Super Avocado Kiwi mask trial size | LUV**** |
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